Love, a word they say comes and goes, yet few people really knows what it means to really love. I first heard this sentiment in a gospel song from my childhood. Back then it was just a catchy jingle, today it is a statement. What is love actually? The dictionary would tell you that it is a strong affection. Yes, but I believe it is more to it than that.

I believe love is in a word, a force. A feeling that can embolden people to do wondrous things. The notion of love can influence people to commit the world’s best actions or worst atrocities. I’m going to go over my outlook on what it means to love.

The love of THINGS

The lesser of the three points that I will cover is our love for things. This could be everything from something physical like a meal or an item that you love, to something conceptual like a belief or a point of view. In life things we come in contact with or hear or experience leave a lasting impression on us. We develop such a powerful connection to a thing that a lot of times we will go to crazy lengths to acquire or keep or protect said thing.

            Fundamentally this is not a bad thing. However, the line between love and obsession is malnourished. We have to be careful not to lose control. You see, it is easy to become obsessed or addicted to anything, and once that shift has been made you lose sight of a key component of love…Rationality.

            It does you no good to love a thing so much, yet lose yourself in the process. Please, enjoy the things you love but don’t let them consume you or become your identity. I believe if you partake in things in moderation, you can avoid that train to obsession and addiction and in turn strengthen your love for whatever the thing may be.

The love of PEOPLE

What is life without someone to share it with? Family, friends, and those who we love romantically are all very crucial to our walk through life. Loving people can be a polarizing thing sometimes. As humans our judgement is often swayed by our emotions. For example, if you make me happy, I like you, if you make me mad, I hate you. They say opposites attract but personally I see less and less of this with every passing day.

            Outside of family when it comes to people you love its often because you recognize a kindred spirit, or a like-minded fellow and you decide to develop a bond with this person. They make you feel happy and or validated so you like them. As it relates to family though, the notion of love is unique. There is nothing like the love of a parent to their children or even children’s love for their siblings. Often times siblings are your first friends. The love between family is organic whereas the love between friends is cultivated. The ultimate beauty is that family can be friends and your friends can become your family.

            Romance, the driving force for the average human being. We grow up looking to find our mate, that special someone who will hopefully be with us the rest of our lives. A romantic relationship is in a manner of speaking a thrill ride. There will undoubtably be ups and downs, twists and turns and peaks and valleys. The special thing is that the love that is forged in these circumstances should be able to withstand the turbulence. That’s right it should, but it doesn’t always.

            I think I have a reason why. Lust. Far too often when selecting our mates, we go soley based on cosmetics and nothing more. Almost like it’s a badge of honor to have an objectively attractive person hold your hand in public. We fall in love with less of the person and more of what they look like or can do. The love of a lover is supposed to be the best of both worlds. A force akin to the organic love of family and the cultivated love of friends merged into one. Is it easy, not in the slightest. However, it doesn’t have to be impossible. Love is patient, love is kind, love forgives, and love conquers all.

The love of YOURSELF

By far the most important point is to remember to love yourself. It is too easy to pour our love into others, yet we go thirsty from the lack of hydration. It is admirable to go above and beyond for others and do nice things for them. However, if we don’t go above and beyond and do nice things for ourselves, we run the risk of feeling drained and deprived. Having love for yourself is super important, it keeps you from doing certain things and making certain mistakes. Not only that but it makes bouncing back from setbacks more of a smooth transition.

I believe that if you learn how to love yourself properly then you can learn to love others better. Build yourself up so you can have the fortitude to build up those you love. Take care not to tear yourself down. Self-deprecation is a toxic trait that you can’t afford to let get attached to you. Speak life and positivity onto yourself, take time to partake in self-care, whatever that looks like for you. Always remember to take care of the person in the mirror.

In Closing…

So, what is love actually? Love is a unique force that permeates through this world and creates lasting and sometimes unbreakable connections. We express love for things and people alike. Love is complicated but at the same time love is simple. With the approach of Valentine’s Day, it got me thinking how silly it is to set aside one day to express your love for others. Love has no calendar, and neither should you. Make it a habit to remind those you love how much you love them and why. Remember to show yourself some love on a regular basis and take out time to experience that thing you love so much. Now, go forward in love, not hate. You got This!

What is LOVE Actually video: https://youtu.be/ZUd565tpNKQ